Friday, October 7, 2011

No Suprise for Christmas this Year

We are going to be blessed with a baby boy this year for Christmas!  His due date is Dec. 27th but maybe we can entice him to come a little early so we can be with family on Christmas morning.  This is my third child but my first boy and we could not be more thrilled!  Every child is a blessing but it will be fun to experience all the new joys a boy will bring into our lives!  This pregnancy is kind of interesting in how it all came to be.  We always knew we would be having a third child but for me, especially when it came time to the question of when should we start trying, brought upon a lot of self doubt and concerns.  Before we started trying, every month would come and I would ask myself is this it?  Should we begin?  Then another month would pass leaving me feeling confused on what I was waiting for and why?  This all revolves around the fact that with my 2nd pregnancy I had miscarried and it left me feeling really hurt and well upset at God.  I was determined to have another child so within months we did become pregnant with our second child.  Instead of feeling overjoyed and loving my pregnancy, I became sad and could not wait for it to be over with.  I experienced post partum depression for a long time after having her as well.  This turned into a 2 year process of not knowing why I was feeling that way or what I could do to make it stop.  However with time and strengthening my faith in God I started to answer some of those questions and became me again.  So with all of the contemplating I realized I was going back to my old habits of thinking I needed to be in control of it and if I wasn't I was afraid I would end up like I was. 

Well one month I decided it was up to God, I would put all my faith in him and trust that whatever were to happen would be what was best for me.  We became pregnant that month, later found out it was a boy, and even though I never really thought of having a baby at Christmas time was what was best it all makes perfect sense now and I could not be happier that I proved myself wrong. 

Just when you think you know everything you realize He Knows More!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Love People and Not Things

In church one Sunday I listened as the pastor said as part of his message, "In Gods city people love people and walk on gold and In Mans city people love gold and walk on people." 

It is easy to see what this message means however if you put much consideration into it you might realize that we as a nation are failing each other.  I would not be one to think of myself in this category however there are many days where I am one of many living in Mans City.  I wouldn't say I intentionally go out of my way to hurt anyone but I know there are times or have been in my life where I selfishly walked over people to gain something for myself.  I know I do not want to be this way, I try to live life everyday where only "love people and not things" comes first but i think this is very hard to do in our world.  Just about every couple days I get a phone call from some charitable organization asking if I could please be so kind to pledge a gift.  So yes sometimes I say yes but not every time.  Sometimes it makes me a little angry that I am being put on the spot every couple days to have to say yes which makes me feel like I did the right thing or say no which leaves me feeling bad about myself. 

Another situation is that one of my grandmother's is getting older and is probably very lonely.  I have every intention to go see her and spend some time with her because I know that would bring her great joy but yet I always find myself saying I am too busy or it is just not a good day to travel down with the kids.  I know when I take the time to think about it there are many more situations in my life that are similar to these. 

What I hope for myself is that I can start to look at every opportunity as a way to put other's first and minimize my selfish tendencies. 

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Serving Money or Serving God

"No one can serve two masters.  For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other.  You cannot serve both God and money."  Luke 16:13

I view money as well, actual money and all other possessions we have that are of value to us.  Notice that I say have and not own since so many of us these days are able to obtain possessions without actually owning them.  We have a couple of business loans left that we are determined to get paid off.  This is because we want to feel successful in the fact that we then will "own" our business instead of feeling like a slave to it, where we are working our butts off for something that is not even "ours" yet.  I think this is where we are going in the wrong direction as a society.  We feel the need to have things even though we really cannot afford them but since we feel we need them we find a way to get them.  The idea of having that new car is worth whatever I have to do to be able to drive it, even though that might mean paying a ridiculous payment every month for the next six years and working our 40+ hours a week to achieve just that.  When my mom was my age she only drove what the cash in her bank could afford her.  What is wrong with going back to that idea of actually needing what it is we can afford?  Why can't we be okay and satisfied with buying within our means?  Think about this scenario, lets say you have $25,000 in the bank and you want to go buy a car because well you just want a new one.  Are you wanting to hand that over just like that to be able to drive that perfect car you want off the lot?  We all know that new feeling wears off in well like a month and then it just becomes another vehicle on the road.  How long did it take you to get that money in the bank?  I can understand if you have a great paying job and $25,000 is relatively not a lot to what you can afford but that is just it, you can afford it.  I am assuming in a lot of the cases this is not what happens.  I feel like that is the question we need to be asking ourselves each and every time we feel like we need something.  Instead of just putting it on credit and worrying and stressing about it later ask yourself am I willing to hand over the cash right now for it?  Start using your debit cards or check book again and see how you feel on that next shopping spree.  you might be surprised in how you react to that feeling of needing vs. affording.  This brings me to the verse in Luke I mentioned above.  Our society is treating money as if it is our master and we are living as slaves to it. 

Trust in God for he is what matters most and start to Serve him.

Monday, January 31, 2011


Life is preparation for how we will spend eternity

I have been trying to live my life more patiently these days.  What I mean is I am trying to give up control and let God hold the reins.  Actually I like to look at it like Jesus is more holding the reins while I am the passenger and God is the point in which we are going to.  I have lived my life where I have been most comfortable when I felt most in control.  I always liked when I felt like it was me making the decision or it was my idea.  I felt as long as I held the control then I was most happy or I probably should say comfortable.  What happens when your life becomes "out of control"?  Or what happens when you lose the control?  What will you do or how will you react?  This happened to me and many things happended and I think it is best if I sum it up by saying it put me in a place of total discomfort and I was left feeling really alone. 
I am now trying to live my life by Gods will and not my own.  I am trying to be patient and allow for him to guide me and set forth my path.  The best message I have recieved so far from him is that Life is our preparation for how we are to spend our eternity.  I came face to face with this and it was literally put in front of my eyes, in writing, on several different occasions, and all by coincidence.  Well coincidence meaning random on my part but obviously not on Gods part.  I am feeling a lot more fufilled these days and I believe it is because I have started to place my faith and trust in Gods plan for my life. Now I just need to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Blessings from God

I truly view my children as blessings from God.  There is nothing in the world more important than those closest to our hearts such as our children!  The closest I have ever come to losing such a blessing is when I had my miscarriage and at the time I was very devastated.  The minute you know that you are blessed with your pregnancy there is that immediate bond and an overabundance of emotion that encompasses your being.  I am very accepting of my loss and know that I have to trust in God that these things happen.  For me I am also able to find some comfort in that there are maybe some logical answers to why? 

However someone I know just lost their 8 month old baby girl a couple of days ago.  The first thing that comes to my mind is that it does not seem fair that this could happen.  I am also guessing that they are finding themselves asking God why, over and over?  What gets hard is when we do not have the answers.  I just pray that God is with them and can help answer some of those hard questions and also bring them comfort and peace in such a devastating time!

Friday, December 17, 2010

Holiday Spirit

So 'tis the season to be jolly!  I love this time of year with all of the excitement and people getting excited to get together.  I also really enjoy that my daughter is old enough to really get into the story of Santa.  I love all of the questions like, "how does Santa get into our house since we don't have a chimney?"  Also, "So if he comes through the front door how does he get down from the roof?"  Okay Kyleigh is one of those children that I cannot get away with "just because!"  In this time of questioning I took advantage of the fact that here is a good time to make sure she is also aware of the reason for this time of year and also the story that should trump Santa, I hope!  So I try to talk a lot about the story of Jesus and why this time of year is really so important.  Oh yes I get the questions like "why is baby Jesus outside and who is his mom?"  I just hope to raise my children with great christmas traditions while still instilling a strong and solid faith base that they can carry with them in their lives!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!